he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She bit a glass in half.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
