I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
