Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
