i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
