I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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