If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
