I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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