I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize