i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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