You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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