What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
