that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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