I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
