so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
whose parrot is this?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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