I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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