Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
