Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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