Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
