lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
