She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
