Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
