Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize