yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
