Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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