Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize