census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
