im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
