You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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