my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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