My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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