Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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