I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
