Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
