I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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