I wanna bring you to show and tell
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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