I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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