how can u be prego again
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
