You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
