Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize