After last night, I could never be a politician.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
