I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
