Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
