I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize