I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
