I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Alive.
So much puke
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
