I will die if light touches me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize