Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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