Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
