Old men and throwing up are my life now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
