Swine flu is the new snow day.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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