the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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