dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
