life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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