So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
