if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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