Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
