i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
