they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
