Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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