I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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