By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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