they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
