So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
