Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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