So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you will always have a special place in my vag
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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