I'm gonna have a badass scar
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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