its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
