Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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