We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize