I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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