I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You're like the curious george of whores
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
