I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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