East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am available for nakedness
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
