i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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