seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
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