I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
