you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize